life...looking up

there are so many things that have happened in my life (specifically in the past few months) that i am pretty much prepared to take on anything that could come my way. i am no longer afraid of saying what i want, and i am definitely done just going along with what people want me to do and do my own thing. i am finally back to my old happy self and i love it. new people have come into my life and shown me that it is okay to be silly, but to also never lose who you are on a deeper level because of the silliness. one person in particular has made me smile so much lately its almost a permanent smile. my best friend Tiara is usually the only one who can make me see the good that life has to offer when it gets rough, but now someone else has stepped in to make her job a little easier. he has been a great friend and no matter what happens between us i will always look back on it as a positive experience, but personally i hope we can make this work because for the first time in a long time i feel really close to someone other than my best friend (and in a totally different way lol). all im trying to say is that he makes me happy :) so thanks!

in other news i am super excited for this weekend. my parents are finally giving me the freedom that i have been waiting for for a long time. all those years building their trust has finally paid off and i get to spend a totally unsupervised day in terre haute with none other than my best friend. i cant wait to finally get to meet all of the people she has been talking about and to get a glimpse of what her life is now and how it has changed since high school ended. she is the type of person who takes on new challenges without batting an eye and she has adapted to college so quickly. im so proud to be able to call her my best friend. in my opinion the weekend cant get here fast enough for me! :)

time makes everything better

So many people get caught up in the fact that as time passes people get older, but thats not necessarily always a bad thing. Most of the time, as people get older they become smarter and more mature...not always...but the vast majority. Recently, I have come to the realization that time even helps you forget. Forget pain, feelings, and just overall crappy behavior either of or caused by others. Every day it gets a little easier to forget, and by now I am almost completely over it. I am moving on and spending more time focusing on people who actually enjoy my company and who dont act like its a chore to talk to me. I have smiled more in the past week and a half (& especially the past few days) than i have in the past probably 2 months. I dont have to constantly worry about being forgotten as easily as I was discovered, and I can be 100% certain that the conversations I have are real. It feels so good to finally be over this because I have spent WAY too much time on this...way too much time caring about it...and way too much time trying to figure it out when in reality there was never an actual explaination (the person responsible probably couldnt even explain it if I comfronted him). I'm finally free of this stupidity. So, thank you so much time for making things a little easier every day, thank you T for making me realize that it does get easier even if it is only slowly, and thank you (____) for making me smile! :) I have great friends and i appreciate all that they do for me!