the new year

everyone keeps saying how bad 2009 was to them, and this year has definitely had its ups and downs don't get me wrong, but it is definitely ending on a good note.

on a more positive note...the list of things that i am thankful for this year (which is a lot longer than the list of bad things) would include...first graduating high school! im so glad to finally be out of that drama pit (with honors) and i would never go back even if they paid me! haha second, would be the amount of quality time that i got to spend with tiara this summer while we were at my fireworks store. she is truly the best friend anyone can have and im glad to know that she is always there for me and that we find time to hang out pretty much every time she is home from college so that we keep in touch and i know that out friendship will never weaken because we are practically sisters :) third would be my first semester of college is finally over, it went by pretty fast, but i somehow managed to make a 3.6 GPA so im super happy about that! i really cant believe i did that well, but im very happy that i did!!! also, my dad is finally stationed near home for the next couple of years so i will be able to regain the relationship we used to have when i was little and more oblivious to certain things. i have come to terms with the restrictions his job as a military man places on him and am stronger because of it. finally, my favorite subject...my boyfriend. there are times when i take a step back and look at my life and cant believe how happy one person has made me in just a few short months. in all reality it has only been about 2 months since we first started hanging out, but it feels like i have known him forever, and i can't believe that this whole thing started because of facebook. we both went to warren at the same time but we never really talked or knew each other, but somehow we started talking on FB and now we are where we are at today...so...thanks FB! :) i can honestly say taht i have never missed someone as bad as i missed him when he was away for a week in TN with his family for vacation...we still talked everyday but it just wasnt the same knowing in the back of my mind that if i wanted to i couldnt just go to his house and see him. i dont think i have ever felt this much for someone, but i like it and i know it can only get better! =)

so basically for all of the people who keep saying i can wait for 2009 to be over because it was the worst year of my life...just look back on it and think instead of all of the good things that have heppened to u this year and just be greatful that u get to see another year. (: so say instead...i hope 2010 is even better than 2009 because the best way to start off a new year is to start it off on a happy note. toodles and talk to u next year

how delightful

so i know it has been wayyyy too long since i have been on here; i have been kinda lazy with this aspect of my life (and just so busy with the other aspects). anywho, life is going delightfully well lately (in certain parts of my life anyway) and i am enjoying every minute of it. i have found one of the sweetest guys that i will probably ever meet, and he just seems to somehow keep getting sweeter. he always tries to cheer me up even when im having a really bad day and dont even feel like smiling...and somehow he succeeds. its wonderful how things can work out sometimes when you are just willing to take a chance on something :) all i have to say is wow! :))) also, i was able to sucessfully withdraw from the class that would have otherwise made my gpa drop dramatically, and im just going to retake it next semester. it is shocking how helpful the people at iupui actually can be when you need them to be haha

on the other hand, the only aspect of my life that is going pretty crappy is family stuff. not to say that my family life isnt going well because for the most part it is. i have been given so much freedom lately around home that it is greatly appreciated, and it really makes me feel like an actual adult for like the first time in my life. but the bad news is that my grandpa just told my mom yesterday that he has cancer again. he had it several years ago in his lungs, but luckily he got better and it went into remission. and we knew that he had cancer again and it was spread over a portion of his body, but we did not know the severity of it or that he actually has two types of cancer...blood cancer (which was detected a few weeks ago) and bone cancer (that he just found out about on thursday). the worst part is that the bone cancer was not detected until now and he has been informed that it is stage 4 bone cancer, which is not good at all. everyone is trying to be positive about the situation and just take the news as it comes. in situations like this positive outlooks are the best medicine, so thats what we are going for. i just hope that he can make it through this because he has always been a fighter, and even tho we were not really super close when i was a child (not as close as he and my older brother have always been) i still want to get the chance to know more about him, and for him to get the chance to be at my wedding and see my children...that is what i truly want the most! so prayers help tremendously. thanks

news

whether its good or bad everyone gets news on a daily basis. today i got a little bit of both. i will start with the bad news first...i found out that my grandpa's cancer is back and in a bunch of different places all over his body. the doctors are saying that they caught it in time so that they can do the treatments that they need to do and it will be gone. with any luck he will get through this round of treatment just like he did last time, so im keeping my fingers crossed. as for the good news...i get to stay home all by myself this weekend. i will finally get a weekend to myself to do whatever i want to do without constantly being under my parent's thumbs. not that im going to do anything that they would not approve of, but i need a break from my family. i mean, dont get me wrong, i love my family; however, i just need some time to myself. i didnt get to go away for college like almost everyone else my age because i was trying to save money so i always enjoy the little breaks that i get. i like waking up whenever i want (and not being woken up by yelling or someone talking loudly), and going to bed whenever i want...i essentially have to answer to no one all weekend. so, no matter what news you get (whether its good or bad) just face it head on and try to look at it with a positive perspective because the first step to a happy life is happy thoughts.

oh wow :)

well so far so good. i REALLY dont want to jinx anything this early but i do think that things are going great! i have been having such a great time with one of the funniest people i have ever met. the newness is not wearing off, the sweetness just keeps getting sweeter, and the fun times just keep getting more fun. i am really glad that i am finally back on top of things. i am doing well in school again, i am getting more sleep, and for the most part my relationships are improving with almost everyone. i have spent a ton of time with my best friend (and when we hang out it's always a blast!) and i am planning on seeing my family members this weekend that i havent seen in like months...so im pretty much back on top and feel like i can take on the world. rarely do i think of what could have been had things happened differently because now i try to focus more on how i can make the present better to make an even greater future. im in it for the long haul and just hopin for the best :) oh i LOVE when life works out!!! [;

life...looking up

there are so many things that have happened in my life (specifically in the past few months) that i am pretty much prepared to take on anything that could come my way. i am no longer afraid of saying what i want, and i am definitely done just going along with what people want me to do and do my own thing. i am finally back to my old happy self and i love it. new people have come into my life and shown me that it is okay to be silly, but to also never lose who you are on a deeper level because of the silliness. one person in particular has made me smile so much lately its almost a permanent smile. my best friend Tiara is usually the only one who can make me see the good that life has to offer when it gets rough, but now someone else has stepped in to make her job a little easier. he has been a great friend and no matter what happens between us i will always look back on it as a positive experience, but personally i hope we can make this work because for the first time in a long time i feel really close to someone other than my best friend (and in a totally different way lol). all im trying to say is that he makes me happy :) so thanks!

in other news i am super excited for this weekend. my parents are finally giving me the freedom that i have been waiting for for a long time. all those years building their trust has finally paid off and i get to spend a totally unsupervised day in terre haute with none other than my best friend. i cant wait to finally get to meet all of the people she has been talking about and to get a glimpse of what her life is now and how it has changed since high school ended. she is the type of person who takes on new challenges without batting an eye and she has adapted to college so quickly. im so proud to be able to call her my best friend. in my opinion the weekend cant get here fast enough for me! :)

time makes everything better

So many people get caught up in the fact that as time passes people get older, but thats not necessarily always a bad thing. Most of the time, as people get older they become smarter and more mature...not always...but the vast majority. Recently, I have come to the realization that time even helps you forget. Forget pain, feelings, and just overall crappy behavior either of or caused by others. Every day it gets a little easier to forget, and by now I am almost completely over it. I am moving on and spending more time focusing on people who actually enjoy my company and who dont act like its a chore to talk to me. I have smiled more in the past week and a half (& especially the past few days) than i have in the past probably 2 months. I dont have to constantly worry about being forgotten as easily as I was discovered, and I can be 100% certain that the conversations I have are real. It feels so good to finally be over this because I have spent WAY too much time on this...way too much time caring about it...and way too much time trying to figure it out when in reality there was never an actual explaination (the person responsible probably couldnt even explain it if I comfronted him). I'm finally free of this stupidity. So, thank you so much time for making things a little easier every day, thank you T for making me realize that it does get easier even if it is only slowly, and thank you (____) for making me smile! :) I have great friends and i appreciate all that they do for me!

Fish

moving forward

My life in like 10 seconds...

DRAMA: done with it!
SCHOOL: finally getting the hang of it
RELATIONSHIPS: still not sure what i want
IN GENERAL: pretty happy, and doing what i can to stay that way :)

My life in a lot longer than 10 seconds...

first of all, i think that i want my new life motto to be "when life gives you lemons, throw them back and say f**c that!" because when you don't like something, you only have to deal with it for as long as you let yourself stay in that situation. if you don't like it, then get out of it, and don't it get to you because the longer you hold onto it the more frustrating it is. so, im done worrying about anything that happened in the past because the past is the past and no matter what you cant change it so move on and forget about it :)

anywho...school is going fine. english is still the best. you know class is going to be really interesting when your professor on the first day starts talking about one-hitters. all the other classes are just business as usual...not really fun, but i guess its interesting, i mean it is school haha. not to mention the eye candy! :) for real!!!

as far as friends go...i have the best friend anyone could ever want. she always listens to me when i feel like i have no one else to talk to and gives me advice when im having a hard time, never judges me, and is the most honest person i know! thanks for always being there for me T!